01.03.26:
UROBOROS II IS LIVE! SES website becomes alive once more, and it means im back to writing!
Aside from new event start, I started Odysse/Youtube sync, and eventually i will delete my Rumble channel. Odysse was chosen by me as second platform so I can provide more alternatives to people who watch my content.
I almost don’t use my obsidian vault for it’s original purpose and i don’t know why. I think I will move some content from it to here, since it’s not used much by me, but can be useful for others.
03.03.26:
This day was a peak of how angry I could feel from hearing words. I really wanted to make a long letter-like textwall on how one particular server drained out my social battery and left me with nothing but frustration. How I was straight up ignored by people who I thought were my friends at start. But the turning point was discussion about passion to military. Those people live without war. They don’t know how air raid sounds at the streets. They only heard about war crimes in history books. And they praise military like troops don’t do same thing as terrorists, except they are on goverment’s side. Yeah it’s cute uwu owo silly to like B-21 Raider, a strategic bomber that is meant to equal cities and their ground into one wasteland. But suddenly non-mass chemical weaponary and torture are too much.
And now I feel stupid for complaining about people having fun. But what is fun for them are reminder for me what is happening at the front right now. This text is a catharsis of what i felt towards Wing of Fire discord server for past month. I came here to get to people that could understand me, listen to me, and talk to me, but now I’m leaving this place for quite some time because theres almost nobody left who would recognize me instead of me poking them. I was in social solitary for quite some time, I didn’t had anybody to talk outside of relatives circle and whole 2 school friends(if you recognized yourself here, I want you to know that I value our friendship <3), especially on niche themes. 90% of my social live is getting satisfied by my relatives and two friends, but I still sharply feel that missing 10 percent. I found place that gave me that missing 10% of my social activity, a feeling that I am not alone. But now same hope giver takes it away. Fortunately, this is not my last stand in case of socialization, and I am participate in much more servers now. I don’t feel like server lost it’s original purpose for me, but I feel that betrayal after people stopped noticing me or even purposely ignoring me. Ironic twist of fate that I found peace and attention at the server I initially joined to collect info for my wiki.
To anybody whos from WoF Discord:
I will not speak with people on server, I will not post art here, regardless if it’s WoF related or not, I will be missing. I can now spend that time on actually reading books, talking on others servers, etc. If anybody who’s reading this from the server is here, you can still DM me. I will not mind.
And yet fucking again I cutted all sharp edges. All venom I wanted to actually spit remained inside me, waiting for another time. I constantly delay my textwall vendetta like i’m waiting proper time and person to drop all that wrath and hatred I store but never show. No matter how bad world gets i’m not killing myself, or getting into cult-like rabbit holes to feel “validated” and fullfill what I never will to kill myself later. I don’t have a fucking right to let those motherfucking pieces of shit to outlive me. I sound vague? Because I meant to. I’m not new to the internet, and I know that on west Eng. internet, the worst thing I can do is apologize. Apologize for what I never did to those I never knew, despite being friends with some of them. That way I will show that my ideology is weak, my moral compass is loose, and they will make me apologize for other things I never made and they will not stop until they will start punching nails into my coffin. At least i’m glad I found more small servers where I can feel like home.
Stylo.lrc
Love, electricity, shockwave central
Power on the motherboard, yes
Push up, overload, legendary heavy glow
Sunshine, thunder roll, keep this on
Yes, the lantern burns firm and easy
And broadcast, so raw and neatly
Thunder roll, sunshine, work it out
But on brighter side, I released 2 new anomaly documents, both translated to English:
06.03.26:
Sunshine(my protogen) just got a new color pallette and logo.
I feel like I will also start my art posting at Tumblr, so await for addition at Links
Volume 2 of my music collection playlist is Ready.
08.03.26:
Website gets more elements that will make navigation easier.
New anomaly - Marianian Human.
17.03.26:
Stuff going on.
That was the last time website was on Github Pages. I’m moving to Cloudflare Pages1.
Uroboros is stagnating. There’s still no video from me, no new anomalies for a week now, i don’t know what to do.
Also I checked out some video regarding so called call out(not on me happily). Basically the same situation with certain other artist that is related by theme and area, but relationships allegations only. Some unhealthy sexual behaviour with other person, but overall situation got a bit complex. Again, fanbase is actively denying what happened instead of accepting and moving on. Why not just apologize? Maybe this is the reason. I will not stop working on content or consuming content related to that person, since it was 12 years ago(geez), but at least I will be cautious of what happened. Don’t forget, don’t forgive everything, classic.
Another thing that got into my head is small 1:1 artworks resembling my thought, feelings, stuff. You will know that these are ones i’m talking about.
I finally made Odysee my secondary video platform.